Many come in thinking they know what will happen next, how the story will end. Many initially feel that the current crisis that brought them to seek help such as an affair or sexual dysfunction, is the final nail in the coffin of a long line of betrayal traumas that told them they could never trust. Others may discover that healing from complex trauma may end in dissolution of the relationship, yet looking at a couples healing prognosis requires a specialized professional who has been trained in the complicated aspects of working in complex trauma. Specialized counseling is necessary as clients strive for comprehensive healing that paves the way for healthy intimate relationships today or down the road.

The problem is never just the problem when it comes to how one recovers from complex trauma. Whether it was sexual betrayal, problematic sexual behavior or sexual anorexia, often there is one final triggering event that can unravel a person or couple and ultimatley will entwine into the person’s past unresolved issues. Unaddressed traumatic childhood experiences can lead to dysfunctional core beliefs and erode a person's ability to function in healthy ways in intimate relationships. So often the problem is not just the problem, it's many problems that compound the current presenting problem that pushed the person or couple to seek help. Past struggles or insecurities before the defining event are often boxed up or stuffed in one’s psyche, yet after a major crisis, such as infidelity, unresolved past issues often demand to be acknowledged and healed. Identifying and resolving unfinished business, is a part of healing from complex trauma. Dealing with sexual betrayal, sexual dysfunction or sexual addiction can often open Pandora’s box, where past wounds, negative core beliefs and maladaptive coping patterns explode to the surface, needing to be addressed and processed in order to obtain healthy relationship functioning.

Enlisting help from those whom lack personal and professional experience and expertise in the area of healing from complex trauma can further complicate, damage and prolong the already laborious and daunting recovery process. Complex trauma often includes digging up unresolved developmental trauma such as childshood sexual abuse, physical abuse and neglect. Although one's childhood may not be what brought him or her to seek professional help, if the client or couple presents with problematic sexual behavior, infidelity, sexual avoidance or intimacy anorexia, developmental trauma is likely the catalyst. Partnering with professional clinicians and recovery coaches who have been there, done that, and who are also trained in the complexities of complex trauma can reduce feelings of confusion, anxiety, hopelessness and fear in the individual and coupleship. Experienced professionals, especially those who also have personally walked the path of how to heal from complex trauma, have a unique knowledge and ability to create road maps, connec the dots and answer questions that often perplex and terrify clients and couples.

Professionals understand taking a trauma inventory is quintessential to proper treatment planning and long-term recovery. Complex trauma often is uncovered when an individual or couple seeks to overcome infidelity and/or sexual addiction (aka compulsive sexual behavior). Healthy human-beings function well across multiple domains. Holistic healing includes a person’s ability to develop and maintain deep interpersonal relationships, be authentic, congruent and integrated emotionally and spiritually, have proper boundaries, mature communication and emotional intimacy with family, friends and co-workers, accept accountability in relationships, and cope with stress, loss and disappointment without the use of self-destructive behaviors or thinking patterns. All of this is incorporated into the process of healing from an affair and/or sexual addiction.

Internal motivation, and perseverance. If the client and couple both have a strong internal motivation and perseverance to do whatever it takes, including the crucial component of developing empathy for oneselve and one's partner, the prognosis is hopeful. Narcissistic traits can be present where there is a history of infidelity, betrayal trauma, intimacy avoidance and compulsive sexual behavior. But some level of narcissism is present in most relationships, period. The goal is to turn the narcissistic behaviors into empathetic relating to self and other and for the client or couple to build a cohesive narrative of their life, their relationships and their goals for their recovery.